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About me

Part 1

Soo yep, this is my blog and it’s about things on my mind or whatever I’m doing and things I find interesting. Also, I'm real bad at spelling, so you'll just have to overlook my mistakes. There aren't that many places to chill on the internet these days so I figured I would just make my own. This is about all I have left, so please, no hax it! Everywhere else sucks and I have nowhere else to go!

I use to like computers, video games, music and still kind of do, but I've spent pretty much 3/4 of my life around that stuff and trying to branch out. I’m about to turn 30 years old and things have sort of changed for me. I use to immerse myself in those things because I didn’t really know what else to do with my life, and was also kinda scared to do anything at all. I live with a lot of anxiety and have trouble with sleep, keeping attention, and sometimes can get a little obsessive with my projects and can explode if they get interrupted. I don’t take any meds for it and I won’t take any meds for it.

I grew up poor in the south middle of nowhere. I didn’t get to make many friends out here since everyone lives so far apart, so the only friends I ever knew were through the internet. I had all kinds of adventures in World of Warcraft, until the MOP expansion dropped and everyone just left, one by one until the guild dissolved and I was the only one left. I don't play it anymore because it sucks monkey nutts and ran by tyrannical dictators. Everyone fucked off into “private” Discord honeypots and killed the social aspect of the game. You just log in and grind dailies then log out, without ever doing anything fun with each other… I’ve been playing that game since I was a kid, and stopped somewhere right after WOD. It was time to move on anyhow.

I don’t really look back on that time as a waste of life like some would since it kept me out of a lot of trouble. Meanwhile IRL during those days (and even today), meth was really taking off in the rural areas I lived. It seemed like everyone I knew in school eventually fell victim to it or some other hard drugs, if not alcohol or morbid obesity. I deleted my FaceBerg account a long time ago because it was just too depressing to see the people I grew up with transformed into the shadow of something unrecognizable. And plus, they’re probably crazy enough these days to try and kill me or something for some past beef! Some of them are already in prison for killing someone else or some sort of awful crime. I stay away from that stuff.

Part 2

In 2012 I went to a trade school college and learned stuff about computers and got my Network+ certificate. It was really a great time, but I was too anxious of failing and was way too serious about my grades. I forbidded myself from girlfriends, parties, or anything that could affect my grades. Instead, I would go to the library with this old boomer and a mexican kid that could hardly speak a lick of english and we would play World of Tanks until the evening classes started. Back then WoT had a portable version you could carry on a flash drive, which allowed us to get around the security on the computers. We would order pizza from domino’s and they would deliver right to the library and nobody curr! Those were really great times, 2012 was comfy!

After I graduated I started working at a hospital as basic IT support, and boy did it fucking suck! I got to work in the basement across from the morgue, so it was a constant nice cool temperature, and I didn’t mind working the late shift alone either since I could play FFXIV on shift and nobody would ever know! And again, you could order pizza to the basement! That part of the job was bitchen, but the 24/7 on-call and dealing with absolute knuckling dragging mongs was the worst! It was almost every night someone would freak out because their nurse station monitor was turned off and they didn’t know how to turn it back on. You might not believe it, but I had a screwed up doctor freak shit out so hard over getting filtered by the Num Lock that he shat himself and left it in the dictation lounge for the jannies! I have all sorts of unbelievable stories working that helljob, like when an insane homeless man in the ER ripped the computer wall mount out of the dry wall and King King rock threw it across the room, lodging it into the other wall! I’ll might write about these someday for this blog.

After two years of that torture, I left. I figured two years on the resume would look better than two weeks, so I endured it. I remember laughing at Tumblr PTSD trigger war stories back then, but after working that job, I can kinda understand it now. Holly shit it was a bad experience! I still have nightmares of having to scrub up and walk into an open case in the OR. The beeping, the blood, the smell of burning flesh…

I told them I got a good offer working for a library, but I didn’t have the heart to tell them I hated working there. After I left, I NEET’ed for about a year at my parents of course, to just recover.

Part 3

During my recovery, I spent a lot of time with a site called Linux Academy and learned as much as I could about Linux. I even immersed myself in Linux YouTube channels to learn by osmosis and it worked out pretty great! After that I got another job working IT for a company. I moved back out into an apartment close to the job and things went pretty well for awhile.

But it wasn’t really what it was cracked out to be. I was supposed to of been a junior admin working in both the Microsoft and Linux environments since I had experience with both. At first, things were going great. It was better than I could of imagined! I got to work with some old as dirt SunSparc servers, fax cards, print modems, and other cool shit for a little while. But what happened was the company was acquired by (or merged) with another company, which came in with all this DevOps and project management workflow bullshit that doesn't belong in IT, and ripped everything up and dumped it on Rajeets shitty MSP, leaving me back to just hell desk work. So far I haven’t left because my salary hasn’t changed. The work I put in and the money I make is far apart, so I’ve just been farming it and learning how to host stuff like this site when on the clock.

During this time, the pandemic also hit. It was peak comfy work too man! Although I was considered an essential employee and had to drive into work just to sit my ass at the computer, I was literally the only one in the building. Everyone else fucked off and all of the bullshit projects were halted. No more daily scum or agilefag circlejerks. Now everyone is coming back to the office and the bullshit projects are being re-continued and led by the most clueless morons the hiring managers HR could fish up. Everytime they open their mouths, they're just puking up pure corpo-speak gibberish. All I can hear are those Charlie Brown Womp womp womp womp noises! Why do they do it bros?

I also moved back to my parents after four years at the apartment because I knew the rent was going to the moon after the pandemic rent moratoriums were lifted; and boy did it ever! I was making $900 on payment every month, and after the moratorium was lifted, it was going to be $1,400! I said fugg dat and booked it back to my parents. But now I’m regretting it because I’ve discovered that during the pandemic, they went a little insane and are now high functioning alcoholics that have been difficult to live with. I don't know what happened to them, but I'm looking to move back out with any opportunity I can get. I’m thankful that they’ve been there for me, but I think it’s time for my dumb ass to move on once and for all!

I’ve been trying to find another job to move to that’s a little different and more stable. At first I was applying for IT fed jobs and IT fed contractors since they sound like cozy positions, but they are too specific in their requirements, expecting me to know stuff like COBOL, which has nothing to do with IT. And plus they want a transcript, a cover letter, a highly detailed resume, and all kinds of other stuff about you. Fugg dat! So now I’m looking for ISP jobs where I get to creep around in a bitchen van fixing peoples internet. Anything in IT that can keep me away from those freaky project manager types would be great.

I've also been looking for a house and some land to start a small farm, but I've been having trouble with that as of 2022 and the prices of property. I'll be documenting it on my blog though, so stay tuned!

Part 4

I make music. I use primarily the FL Studio DAW for making my music cause it’s ez, but sometimes I fit Audacity in too. I make primarily 90’s atmospheric Drum and Bass and Trance. I’ve been making music since I was 14, but haven’t really improved into a commercial production quality cause I’m a nub at this and too shy to advertise; it was already hard as fugg making this site as is. I started with a PS1 music maker called MTV Music Generator which got me into making music.

I get my inspiration from primarily early tracks from bros like Tiesto, Paul Van Dyke, Armin Van Buuren, Chicane, Robert Miles, Airwave, Binary Finary, etc. For DNB I get my inspiration from PFM, Source Direct, Total Science, Future Engineers, Artemis, LTJ Bukem, Rom Di Prisco, etc. I also get some inspiration from video games of the period.

Check out the Cozy Music section for tracks!



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